The Pregnancy Art Project

Over-Shadowed

originally published on Instagram 2/11/2017

I try to remind

re-wind, re-mind

redo my mind, remind

myself that without shadows

light means nothing.

It's a camera taught lesson that I embrace

for work, but can't wrap

my mind around

for birth.

The flutters and kicks should

be enough proof, proof enough

but I still quick

walk to the bathroom to check for blood.

Alex still

refrains —

And tears still surface

like the chest clenching

I thought I was over.

Even that fast, strong

heartbeat gets overshadowed

by this new realization

that now, this time,

there is more to lose.

And with all it takes,

all the things that have to go right,

losing seems so much

more plausible

than keeping.

The Manatees in Florida

originally published in Instagram 2/13/2017

I observe

my bare belly as you kick, fierce

as you already are

like the silken

water of a Florida river

where we saw the manatees

breach - a fleeting, exhilarating mound,

disrupting the placid water, leaving nothing

but a lazy ripple.

And we knew they were there, under

the surface, somewhere.

But there was nothing we could do to conjure proof

except observe, quiet

witness, float

suspended in our orange kayak

breath held, waiting

for another sighting.