6 Things I'm Doing to Prepare my Body for Conscious Conception
We’re planning to stop trying to prevent pregnancy in the near future, and I wanted to share the few things I’m doing right now and have been doing for this entire year so far to prepare to conceive within the next year.
I am not sharing this to shame anyone or make anyone feel regretful who did not prepare to this extent for conception, COULD not prepare as much as they wanted to due to inaccessibility, or couldn’t prepare because they got pregnant unplanned. I don’t want to instill even the littlest inkling of “I wish I had prepared better for my pregnancy,” not only because it’s an unproductive thought that I know personally can easily spiral into anxiety over a past you have no control over changing, but also because we don’t all have access to the knowledge or resources to make preparing for pregnancy possible.
I’m sharing my current journey simply because most people don’t talk about this part publicly because some readers might take it as being akin to a pregnancy announcement, and folks tend to want to keep that private until they’re ready to share. But because we don’t talk about it, most folks don’t know that there’s anything you even CAN do to prepare your body, mind, and spirit for conception.
As most of you know who have read my birth story, I had a perfectly healthy *appearing* pregnancy with Kahlo until I got to the week of my due date when I had a mysterious, consistent pain in the upper right section of my abdomen, which turned out to be the only visible symptom to indicate that I indeed had a rare a s life threatening condition called HELLP syndrome. You’ll have to Google it or read my birth story if you want more education on that condition bc that’s it’s whole own post. 😅
That condition made my planned home birth turn into a heavily medicated, highly fucked-with, but not at all anesthestitized hospital birth. My postpartum OB insisted that there was NOTHING I could have done to prevent this. He was (correctly) ascertaining that I was fishing for a way that my condition was somehow my own fault through something I did or didn’t do during my pregnancy. Also there’s very scant information about HELLP syndrome and what causes the “bad latch” with the placenta on the uterine wall that becomes such a tax on the pregnant person’s body once the fetus becomes full term, so he also wasn’t going to tell me something he genuinely couldn’t say with certainty, which I appreciated. Doctors who can say “I don’t know,” are rare.
But beyond looking for a way to blame myself for my condition, I wanted to know if there was anything I could have done to support my body and prevent this because I knew I’d want to have another kid, (even with pushing ptsd freshly haunting my dreams,🥴) so I wanted to know ways I could be proactive in subsequent pregnancies.
His suggestions understandably left much to be desired given that he’s neither an expert in physiologic birth, fertility, or nutrition, so I’ve been doing my own research and working with a midwife to create a plan to prepare my body for conception this time.
But you don’t need to have had a previously difficult birth outcome to give you a reason to spend some time and focus on preparing your body for conception! (Link is to a post a wrote a couple months ago about how culturally weird we are about preparing for pregnancy.) Pregnant bodies prioritize caring for fetuses needs over our own bodies’ needs, so extra nutritional support is needed to compensate for what nutrients we can expect to give away when we grow a human. Even in a completely normal, undisturbed physiologic birth, significant blood loss can be expected. And then if you choose to bodyfeed, your body will continue to be siphoning off your nutrients to prioritize your baby’s growth if we don’t actively compensate for the deficit created.
Side note: I want to be transparent about the fact that while I’m a full spectrum doula who provides care to families at all points in their reproductive paths, fertility has never been my personal focus or expertise, so I’m deferring to experts like my midwife, acupuncturist, and the beautiful book “Awakening Fertility,” by Heng Ou and learning as I go! What I’m about to lay out is simply what I’m personally doing given what my particular body needs, this is not a one-size-fits-all fertility-prep regimen.
So! Without further ado, here are 6 things I’m doing welllllllll in advance of when I plan to stop trying to not get pregnant to prepare my body for a potential conception:
I’m drinking strong, homemade infusions of nutritious and fortifying herbs, such as:
nettles,
oatstraw,
hibiscus,
red raspberry leaf,
and lemon balm
(some other things to look into for building up iron and other nutrient stores are blackstrap molasses, moringa, dandelion leaf, beets, dates, and raisins.)
I make a batch of this infusion about once a week and I drink as much as I want every day.
Along with that - I’m taking @iwillaremedies blood building syrup.
My platelet count and hemoglobin were so looooow after I had Kahlo that even having two bags of blood transfused into me, my recovery took months (actually years, if I’m bering honest about my vitality and energy levels.) I felt so weak and incapable of doing anything at all, even the weight of my baby in my arms exhausted me, which, as you can imagine, compounded PPMD symptoms. It’s the main reason why it’s hard for me to imagine an easeful, joyful, vital postpartum experience. I’m looking forward to rewiring my brain for what postpartum can be this time.
Again, this weak and tired state of my body postpartum was mostly because of the HELLP syndrome, (which I have only a 25% chance of having again, and is less likely now that I’m older, and is less likely since I’ll be conceiving with Alex again,) but I’m not just preparing for the potential of HELLP again, (universe, I’ll be BIG MAD if that’s an experience I have to learn from twice. 😩) I’m preparing for having some nutritional stores to give away during pregnancy, preparing for the possibility of feeling too sick to eat well in the first trimester, preparing for the normal amount of blood loss after birth, and preparing to breastfeed again.
I’m taking magnesium supplements and frequently treating myself to Epsom salt baths (epsom salts are magnesium sulfate, and magnesium sulfate is actually the drug they had to put in my IV in order to deliver safely when I had HELLP!)
Most of us are magnesium deficient, and that matters because: “Magnesium controls follicle-stimulating hormone, or FSH, because estrogen-dependent on magnesium status, and FSH is the hormone that stimulates the ovaries. Low magnesium can also signal to low progesterone levels, which can lead to a short luteal phase and increased miscarriage risk.” - Center for Advanced Reproductive Services
I’m vigilant about making sure I get enough vitamin D (via the sun and supplementation.)
I’m drinking bone broths regularly and taking a collagen supplements on the days I feel like I didn’t get enough protein through my food.
When pregnant, and when preparing a body for pregnancy, there is an increased need for protein, and bone broth high in collagen and is one great way to easily get in more protein. I easily forget to eat/sometimes don’t eat enough, but I seem to have no problem at all nursing several fortified drinks at one time, so bone broth works great for me.
Similarly, I’m vigilant about incorporating healthy fats into my everyday diet, and because a hot morning beverage is a must for me, I put grass-fed butter in my coffee, and/or raw whole fat milk.
I am also seeing an acupuncturist with particular focus on my kidneys and brining warmth back to my body.
I have polycystic kidney disease, and I have learned that the kidneys are the beginning of the Ren Mai “conception channel” that flows down into the uterus and perineum. I’m still researching to try and figure out if this could mean that my kidney disease could’ve potentially have been connected to my previous miscarriage and my case of HELLP syndrome. I can’t confirm any findings there yet, but in the meantime, because of this conception channel, I know it can’t hurt to take really good care of my kidneys.
I’m tending to my kidneys by getting acupuncture, staying warm, taking herbal supplements targeted at supporting kidney function, drinking lots of water, and trying not to forget to pee.
On that note: I’m working on staying hydrated! The way to calculate how much water intake you should be having is to take your weight, cut that in half, and then drink that many ounces of water per day. I weight about 140, so that’s 70 ounces of water per day. For me, this ends up being close to how much I naturally drink when I’m drinking to thirst.
I’ve already been sober for over a year, (with the exception of the small amount of alcohol present in tinctures) but if I weren’t sober already, I would become sober now as I prepare for the possibility of conception.
Not because alcohol = bad (necessarily,) but because dehydration = bad, (for everyone of course, but especially for folks who need their bodies to be supple and elastic to expand for pregnancy and birth.) It can be hard enough to get enough water in without introducing a substance that actively counteracts hydration.
Bonus tip! This one doesn’t apply to me specifically because I’ve been off hormonal birth control since 2015 by choice, not because of the intention to conceive - but if you are on hormonal birth control and know you’ll want to get pregnant within the next couple years, I suggest getting off hormonal birth control and using non-hormonal forms of contraception in your planned pre-conception years. Western medicine’s recommendation is to be off hormonal birth control for at least a month before trying to conceive, but in my opinion (and in my research) this is no where near enough time to truly regulate and track your cycle, and start learning what feels normal for your body without the added hormones.
The first step to preparing for pregnancy is cultivating a relationship with your own body and menstrual cycle. Ideally we would begin taking charge of our reproductive vitality in adolescence, at the onset of menstruation. - Heng Ou, author of Awakening Fertility
Give your body enough time to level out. Give your SELF enough time to witness, notice patterns, and learn what your normal ebb and flow of your cycle is without (additional) hormonal interference. The bleeding that happens monthly when on birth control is not actually menstruation, it’s a withdrawal bleed, and the first step towards planning to get pregnant is getting in intimate, healthy, right relationship with your menstrual cycle, if that’s something that’s accessible to you, and assuming that contraception is the only reason you’re on it in the first place.
In the name of transparency, I should add that I am human, and I’m not doing this whole conception prep perfectly, by any means. Due to depression, anxiety, and ADHD, I often forget to eat, don’t feel like eating, or making food feels like an enormous, insurmountable effort. My regimen is so “supplement heavy” because I know this about myself, but more ideally most of my nutrients would be coming from my food. I continue working on the real food part, while still trying to be gentle with myself when take-out is frequent or meals are forgotten.
Alsoooo in the name of transparency - we are in a way more stable place financially this time than we were when we conceived Kahlo which is making all these modes of healing and preparation more accessible to us. Granted, the main reasons why I didn’t take these preparation measures last time was not financial, but rather because we were still grieving the loss of our first pregnancy, so Kahlo wasn’t planned. And also because I didn’t know there were things you even COULD do to prepare, and frankly, I didn’t look for them because I was so committed to this idea of conception being a casual, whimsical, not-tried-for thing for some reason. 🙃 Which only ended up being to my own body’s detriment in the long run.
Culturally (in white, western culture, that is,) we also tend to not think of preparing our bodies for fertility until we are already experiencing trouble getting pregnant, and that is not the only reason to consciously prepare for conception.
My mindset has obviously completely shifted in thinking about this now that I’m not only a mother, but a birth worker. Whenever folks reach out to be about trying to conceive, and they ask me what herbs they can be taking to boost their chances on conception I ask, “What’s the rush?” And then explore some possible ways they can support their body’s nutrient stores, connect with their menstrual cycle, and start fortifying their relationship with their partner if they have one to make sure this is a really intentional, clear-eyed journey you’re embarking on together - more for their own sake than for their future baby’s sake. When we’re taking care of ourselves this way, the whole “biological clock” thing becomes a less pressing factor as well.
Maybe next I’ll talk about what I’m doing mentally and spiritually to prepare myself and my family for conscious conception! Stay tuned. 💞